PacMom

June 14, 2006

After a wee break...

Don’t worry! I haven’t been MIA because I quit quitting. No way. Actually I’m just lazy. Really, really lazy. And I happen to think I am a HORRIBLE writer, so as much as I want to document my quit, I dread posting in here because writing is hard for me.
Anyway, I’ve actually been doing AWESOME. According to my meter on QuitNet, I have been smoke-free for 5 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes, and 58 seconds. I have not smoked 63 cigarettes, saved $15.00, and 11 hours of my life. Sweet.
I’m really not sure why I’ve been doing so well. It’s surprising, but I am definitely not complaining. Yesterday was actually kind of hard, I don’t know why, I just thought about smoking a lot. Not necessarily craving one, I just couldn’t stop thinking about cigarettes in general. Today has been better. Also today, I haven’t been eating like a god damn PIG. Which I must say is good, because I’d rather NOT be chubby. While I would be a chubby non-smoker, which is better than a rail-thin smoker, I still don’t want to be chubby. Just… don’t.
So yes all in all I am pretty proud of myself at the moment. Nothing in my house is broken, my baby girl has not been permanently scarred by my ( surprisingly non existent) demon-like mood (which, [how??] has actually been the complete opposite), and I haven’t kicked, yelled at, or pulled the hair out of any of my dear pets. I am actually quite stumped by this. A lot of smoking cessation sites say that you will be happier and calmer after quitting, which seems, well, like a bunch of BS. But it’s true! When Skylar acts up, I calmly tell her I’ve had enough and to go to her room. Before, OMG. I used to scream at the top of my lungs at her for EVERYTHING. Matt (who is quitting also, btw) still yells at the dog for being a pest. I on the other hand just want to give him a big smooshy hug. The poor baby is locked in his cage all day, how can you yell at this sweet face just for wanting you to throw his slimy, stinky Kong??

(Ahem. This is where I PLANNED on putting a cutsey-wootsy picture of my dog. However, Blogger doesn't seem to friggin' work very well.)

So I guess the one other thing that is slowly subsiding would be the pain in my lungs. My achy, crippling, tar-filled lungs! They always hurt bad in the morning. Since I have quit, each morning is wee better than the last. Supposedly soon I will start coughing up nasty stuff? Rad!

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